I have dissembled and denied and
For so long I have declined
Cause immense untold remembering
The Pain. On Pain. On Pain. On pain…
Muted I go through life smiling
Silently, I am struggling not
Stay hidden most of the time except when I’m
Screaming they all come rushing out.
Avoiding remembering and reckoning,
What is the final tally, the total cost
When avoided eventually cause tension and strife and
Screaming. Pain on pain. Come rushing out.
Believing against hope that maybe, I
Can begin to someday learn once again
To feel them but not be them is the goal,
To experience, to learn, to grow, to move on.