I’ve been exceptionally well traveled
My whole life, from a child until now,
Looking far and wide for something,
Hoping far and near for somehow.
Sometimes I have run far away,
But I’ve never managed it successfully
I haven’t ever made it far enough
That trouble didn’t eventually find me.
The things I have run from
Seemed horrible to face at first
Until I finally began to understand,
Running solves nothing and always turns out worse.
When relying on stick-to-itiveness
As a creed, a strategy, and a tactic
Getting through the rigors of everyday life,
Is often always scary and quietly frantic.
I bluster and proclaim blame by name,
When it’s MY heart that’s closed and shut.
Acting the victim part, but really
Deflecting, avoiding, and covering up.
Shame has been my hidden struggle,
A daily burden that robs me of my joy.
My overly ambitious goal has been
To banish boisterous Billy’s boy.
Now I’m remembering the boy that I was,
The good, the bad, the happiness, even the fear.
To be the best person I can be, today,
I need to know how I got from there to here.
My final destination is slowly changing
Because I am learning how to better love me.
I can worry less about where I’m going, and
Focus my efforts on enjoying the journey.